The Sum of Me


The Sum of Me


Shunned and disqualified from the pastorate, I held my diagnosis like a disease. My moods, infected by the devil, were a treacherous  battleground in need of salvation. However, I still choose medication over prayer, and my worth as a spiritual leader plummeted. Hope along with it. Nothing has paralleled that despair in my adult life. Not my divorce, not my postpartum ptsd, not even my hospitalization. So, for my safety, I hide my disbelief in a family full of believers.


coming out
I write a poem
for all to see


Under the Basho – Haibun Section – 2018





saying no
what the holy spirit
never taught me


wine glass
my testimony
becomes obsolete


every prayer


my sister and I
trade religions


street preacher
I count myself
among the damned


make-up sex
what would have been


what I thought was a miracle
now a mystery


church bells
the altar no longer
my home


Scryptic Magazine 2.3

Powered by

Up ↑